I posted two stories last time, but I've decided to do the second one as my long essay. The story I wrote about my son's birth is a more challenging one to write, but I believe it is more worthwhile to me to tell it. In speaking with Dr. Chandler I realized that my focus was in the wrong place. Instead of a story about my son being born, it's really a story about me coming to grips with being a father. That process didn't start when I found out my wife was pregnant - the seeds of the conflict were planted years before as I was trying to shape my life right out of college. For all of us, being a parent is a lesson in self-sacrifice - and one of the things that is sacrificed is our vision of what we can do with our lives. I don't mean we give up our dreams entirely, but we certainly scale them back - it is inevitable. There is only so much time and space in life - and that time and space is much shorter when another person enters it. I realize I need to put more emphasis on the conflict within myself, the choices that I made, the emotions they elicited and the resolution that came when I made the choice to make the sacrifices needed to be a good father.
Some of my changes include starting the story earlier (in college) and ending it earlier (when my wife goes into false labor) and beefing up the portions about my own life before being married.
p.s. I am toying with this opening line - not sure if it is too heavy-handed.
(example of opening)
It's not that I didn't want a kid. I just didn't want to be a father. Granted, a full decade had passed since I had gotten through college and I had slowed down somewhat - gotten a little too caught in a rut. But I figured there was still time for me to make my mark. Back in school, the days weren't long enough to take everything in. The classes were a sideshow as I swallowed as much life as I could.
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